Saturday, 10 March 2007
Yest was the most fun yet torturing day in my lyfe..owh gosh!cant help turning and twisting my body,its aching everywhere!!!hahah!but still i got a smile on my face cos i did not fall out or wad despite mi incomplete healing frem fever..initially i thot of wen i felt mi lungs n ribcage squeezing together..errr...yeahh!hah!yah i was kinda crying a bit but hey!i dont wanna give up..its such a waste if i did so..at ferst things was smooth..hais but i get the 40th place..baaghh!its fine wit me...siriusly,i thot i was gonna die.i coulndt breathe.My vision was all blurry.n one thing tat shocked me,wada gets the 14th place...woooaaaa!!!hahah...congrats to her!...she apolgise fer leaving me cos she sae tat she wanna prove to her guy hu sae she surely cant win...huhuhu...DETERMINATION maann!!
Umm..umm..i dont noe wether i shuld sae this but umm...tis is mi diary,i pour evrything out so here it goes...Ariff is so HOT!geeeees...hah...kaeh2 wadeva...I got Hazim,he got the junior girl.so.."Don't even think of it NAD."but would it be okaeh if i were to lyke two person fer once?huahahahahah....nah i was jus kidding!!!i would never EVER b one in mi entire lyfe!!cant blieve tat jus slip thru mi thots.IM BAAAD...well,i was online yest nyte &&...he was too so we chat laaa...at ferst he was kindah wierd saeing hes the best laa n his bro good laaa..tat doesnt sound ryte actually...i noe hes not lyke tat usually wen i chat wit him..then after a while he saed tat was his bro chatting wit me...wtH????frem then on we debate as usuall...it awaes happen..now tats more lyke him...hes rili fun to tok to...sirius..he is...very very funny...more challenging i lyke challenging guys..hu dont giv a darn to girls...yeahh!!Find it wierd?i hate mushy guys.FLIRTY GUYS,FUCK OFF YAH..
After being released frem Bishan park,theres no bus so we walked all the way to the mrt station,me,wada n fahmi..can u imagine after a long run we have to walk all the way with those 12 o'clock sun burning frem above n straight home took a quick bath n out to orchard n bugis till 9pm non stop hardcore standing up...hah!!it was the ferst tyme i could go out wit mi fren till nyte..woaaa...hahah...dont noe wad has gone toodle to mi mum yesterdae...hahah...letting me go back home at nyte...i love her mann!!aftr the run me,wada,haimin(wada's boi),azri went to orchard at ferst then to bugis...at orchard we go Far Eazt then since mi bro n hazim all playing pool at Far East shopping ceneter,Hazim met up wit me at Far east plaza..wada arnt happy at ferst coz after i met him i n him walk together alone...hah..poor ayie(azri)...Yest aso i felt lyke a PRINCESS.Azri blanja me drinks n a Tees cost $12 at bugis...he so sweet n kind...hahah...n Hazim blanja me Mc Cafe n hes been blanjaing me everytyme i go out wit him...ahaha...I feel special..hah!!!so yest i oni spend $3.80 fer a day out oni on food.I could get use to tis...Tis is the fun thing about goin out wit ppl hus werking...YEAHH!!!Sirius laaa...i Love YESTERDAES...mi mum was lyke "omg iyaa..ko ni asyik2 dimajain." :)
I use mi weapon to get wad i want.im sure u girls out ther noe wad i mean..wuahah *evil laugh*
Today i woke up n i couldnt walk..mi legs r cramp up..i have to draaaag mahself to tis comp addiction...haiyseyy...Boohoo... :(
09:18
Thursday, 8 March 2007
Tis eyes jus couldnt kip shut!urrrgghhh!!well its lyke 11.30pm n wad can i do??hmm..owh yah,Hazim jus came infront of the door jus a few min ago to gib me Pink Pokey(MI FAV!!)after coming back frem werk..hah..sweet issnt it?it was i think 11 jus now,hes been duin tis fer lyke i dont noe how mani tyme.....n owhyah buying fer mi bro his Gel aso(duhh!! -_-)..mi abng laa...kol him ask him to buy ferst befor meeting me..jumping here n there lyke frogs,afraid he might look BAD fer skool tom..wtH..poor Hazim have to go vista point...hais...PS:Mummy I wanna marry him..hah!! XP
Slowly n slooooowly im starting to have feelings fer him..yeahh!!i mean tats wad mi mum awaes wanted me to..toking about how good he is...bl@bl@bl@...
**************************mum's toking to me****************************************
"THIS LOVE THAT LEAVE SO FAST,THIS LOVE THAT COME SO EASILY.THIS LOVE YOU BREATH."
Shit!!bugger!!urrgghh!!she jus saw Hazim walking wit a girl jus now...she sae tat Hazim was looking in mi room..wtHACK!ddnt see any girl outside the house jus now????!!!!
And mum if ure reading this,i would like to plead to let me have a norm teenage lyfe ma..pls ma..gib me mi privacy..tis blog is the oni thing to pour out mi feelings n to let go mi frust..please ma im begging..i will change mi URL nomatter how hard or how difficult it will take...tis blog is lyke mi Grib ma...it prevent me frem blowing n do such stupid things again...i noe u love to read about ppl but pls ma..i rili rili nid mi privacy..i feel ashamed ma..i rili rili hope u understand a girl's feelings...n i noe u can..dont worry ma,i still love u...i wont get so drifted awae...i wan u to gib ur trust in this...Jus tis ONE...i noe u wan me to b lyke others lyke Nurul,those hu never kip ani secret to their mum n pray n all but ma(fer wad they sae frem their own mouth),tats oni in TV..they sae tv r jus those hus living in their dreams...everyone has secrets tat they kept inside them...
Can i jus think that every guy are jus jerk??can i set mi mind to it??n tat i sae to mahself evrytyme wen i think i might attract to them to jus make use of them,the guys...?i think they deserve it. :)
I'll take back mi werds about marrying him now*
I dont noe!i dont noe!i SHALL ask him hu isit..hmm...good idea...so...the future will be in his hand hun...owhyah..i jus remember tat yest nyte i dreamt tat IRFAN BECOME MY PACAR!!!wadoooooooooooooor!!!sirius,i could remember the sweat wen i woke up..GOSH!!hahah...~Evil laugh~so i tell him bout it aso laaa n i xpected him to say lyke tis"APEH???NGAN NAP???TAK MUNGKIN!"but.....walau!instead he can sae summore hu noes the future n he was so cool bout it... ???????? gilak??
Tom got running at Bishan park...hais...boriiiing..im not 100% recovered yet..so chances i might either collapsed or out of breath n die laa tom...Bagghh!!n im not hoping to bump into Nabil tom at the mrt station..sori i ddnt have the courage to sae tis to you jus now..i mus b the cowardest freako.jus pray tat mi hopes will come tru yah n nomore quest ask.*
GREEN>>>>ORANGE tats me!!hah..will b joining orange tom..as norm..fer wardah...hais...so see u in orange!
**I'm utterly Happy yet Sad**
23:27
This week must have been the most sickess week fer me i guess...1,2,3 day not in school...Wad is to become of me??huhu..jus browsing thru ppls blog probably could kill this boredem..Reading bout ppl's lyfe routine could be fun at tymes but can be saddening too..
MSG TO YANA:I'm sori fer not being ther fer u hunn wen ure in needs lyke i do..i noe im the werst girlfren u ever had..Egoistic & shelfish...im hopeless darl..I'm only there wen i want & need to but disappear wen tymes gets hard fer u..Im sick of this..How i wish i can be there fer u...im stuck at hme while u have to face the messy world...i noe ure getting tired..i wuld lyke to sae tat i luve u still hunny..i treasure u more than ani of mi fren jus tat i couldnt show it.. :(
One of mi fav thing to do is to link only mi fav blogsters..yeah..things tat makes me love bout their blog are: superb songs,creative personalities and Bombarstic werds used..
Owhyah..ive awaes been dreaming of this one thing since decades ago..havin mi own band..woohoo!!wouldnt it be so cool!!ive awaes love drums..n i'll adore drumers..hehex..n acording to mi observation,drummers are awaes Hot and cutey sweets!oooOOOoooooOoo...I get so jealous sometymes towards mi cuzzy,she has her own band named 'LOVE EMBRACE'nyce ryte??she goes jamming amost evry fri wit all her girlfrens..how it feels lyke having a girl band..WOW!!*bite bite lips*shes the same age as me n she has a very very MOST stricked parents but yet she still gets her foot in the jamming room...urrrggghh!!Her guy the drumist*wwoooAAA!!!!!*~SCRATCH2 HEADS~tel me how can i NOT get jlos towards her??geees...but stil shes mi fav cuzz...yupss yupss..i love her!!hah...n were goin ouit tis hol...hows tat??hah..okaeh mi annoying bro here wanna use the comp..Muggggggg!!!
I'll fart you down!!* :)
14:11
Wednesday, 7 March 2007
"Bruise by your love,healed by your touch."
I don't noe y but i got this erge of killing someone today.Can you xplain to wad this 'Outside werld' thots im having.?Wait.let me think again,Nah...i dont need your opinion cos noone noes better themselves.
School?hu saes theres school fer me?there has not been ani such werd in mi dict fer the past two daes..Guess those dirt in me has taken over mi physical body.And probably mi mentally,Psychoistic,unstabled mind too."I NEED DOCTOR FAST PLEASE."
B goin to polyclinic afteron..N alone...Fuck!Blame those disease stuck in me..Wondering hows wardah coping wit it all...spposingly have to pay her $5 fer the dancewerk CD burner to wani's bro..gees...seems lyke shes gonna have a hard tyme 2dae...
Hazim?Don't ask me now.I'm half way under hypnotisation.I don't want it to get any werst,since he sudd did not call me yest nite which he usually does straight after werk.Or maybe he'd gone back wit his x Nadrah?I got the feeling its so..JERK!okaeh i'm 77% undercontrol of not myself now.Or HOLD ON!prob this two ans mi ferst quest?hmm...yadidadida..
Fuck up!Am not interested to hear anything now.
Gosh!i'm lyke having this voices conflicting inside.N wads more wierd is tat i tend to get high wenever i hear songs such as..lyke tis.*in such circumstances im goin thru now.N its a feeling of GREAT pleasure.Guess this is mi pill.
As daes goes by,i still am trying to figureout hu have i turn to after goin thru those past.I noe this sounds stupid n childishes fer not noeing hu u rili r untill now.Tis is wad happened to pampered child frem young.Wait,i got a kol now..
@$@!#%^&&&%^*())*&^%$##$^&$^&(__+)*^$#^#$@%^&(_+)(^#@!*&^$%#!~!~#$$%
It was frem wardah.**************FUCKS**************i am not made up of non-living material,am still human,tho mi mind r lyke satan.I cant go mit her n pay up now!I AM SICK!doesnt she understand?Lyke die die must go?sori i cant.(mummy wont let so)hais nomatter wad shes mi fren.im shuld b use to her by now..*2(breath in breath out)*
END OF TODAY*
10:07
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
Geee...its been so long since i last post..Damn it!okaehh...u wouldnt imagine how things has pas by time...lyfe getting sucker initially but things gets better after a while..i could smile with pureness...i actually ran awae...awae frem mi misery,mi fam fer once to yana,n hearing dad's cries fer me back home.i cut those pain...seeing those blood dripping upon me wen i finally woke up.im ashamed.Scars makes me sick.Lucifer has got wad he wanted me to b n has manage to take control of me...Fuck it!but i manage to return to the path..n thers no end to it...I'm choking on mi Fear.Fear of loosing (them).Cutting skins n running awae frem home isnt the solution i knew tat now...but things happened n thers nothing to amend wen ure under the other side.someone ure not n arent awake frem ur nightmares..i need mi OWN angel..someone hu is me..someone hu feels mi pain,mi happiness,mi thots,mi love,mi confusion,mi agriness,mi jealousy & mi pureness...
Where were u guys!!!???where were u guys wen we needed support??FUCK NABEY!!on the 25th..the dancewerk..we stood there shamefully..building courage among us alone..Abandoning us u guys FUCK!i may look decieving frem the outside but i keep revengeness in the inside.U guys can never figure me out..I have amusingly Bad habits n i noe ure just jealous of it...I dont give clues to wad i am saeing..i play around wit ur werd...ur feelings are mi playground..untrustfull me,u can never guess...so if u guys need help,dont count on me...I'll slice u open,so you'll feel the pain...Be in mi shoe fuckers...
Guilt by truth,Hazim is the fiction of mi fairytale story...
Theres no denylation.
He's mine bitch!Dont show ur enviness :) Fuck it up...Wrap it n just dump it in ur hollow heart...we go out to orchard during school hours,skipping school isnt bad after all...he treat me for lyke i dont noe how much..since hes werking why not...n hes goin poly!!taking his motor lisence next year..wad more can i ask for frem him??i get anithing i want frem him...Hes mi(evrything)machine...
Frens??ask me about it u DUMBFUCKER...I'm not intrested.
09:06